Monday, May 19, 2008
3 Letter Words
Hmmm... does that mean that after this, we move on to "4-letter-words"?
'Cuz mama knows a BUNCH of THEM.
link | annie posted at 8:27 PM | Haloscan
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Monday, May 12, 2008
I Know You Don't Come Here for Thought Provoking Conversation...
You would think that was the end of the Red Shirt Saga I talked about in my last post, right? Why am I obsessing over a stupid red shirt? Why, I'm not obsessing, my husband is.
I've been told I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Me? Sure I do, but see, this is why I don't always take psychiatric diagnosis' seriously; when I think I have a problem or a phobia, I just take a look at the people around me and I can easily find someone WAY more whacked than I am!
So after I wrote that post the other day, I proceeded to put my husband's precious "lost" shirt into the washer. Now, I rarely forget and leave something in the washer overnight (it gets moldy, ew! I hate that!), I get to it eventually. Well, when my husband got home from work I was outside or something, then I walked in the back door, which is also the laundry room, you know, and I find THIS:
That shirt is HAUNTING me! In my dreams, I'm being chased by red shirts and boxes of laundry detergent!
He fished that stupid shirt out of the wet clothes in the washer and set it on top! He must have obsessed over that fucking shirt ALL DAY LONG and OH MY GOD why isn't it dry and hanging in his closet yet?!
So I threw it AND the other clothes from the washer (duh!) into the dryer and he's LUCKY I didn't throw the stupid thing in the GARBAGE!
Daily Prayer:
I'm OCD?
Right.
I'm perfectly normal.
Do you have any obsessive-compulsive tendencies?
I've been told I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Me? Sure I do, but see, this is why I don't always take psychiatric diagnosis' seriously; when I think I have a problem or a phobia, I just take a look at the people around me and I can easily find someone WAY more whacked than I am!
So after I wrote that post the other day, I proceeded to put my husband's precious "lost" shirt into the washer. Now, I rarely forget and leave something in the washer overnight (it gets moldy, ew! I hate that!), I get to it eventually. Well, when my husband got home from work I was outside or something, then I walked in the back door, which is also the laundry room, you know, and I find THIS:
That shirt is HAUNTING me! In my dreams, I'm being chased by red shirts and boxes of laundry detergent!
He fished that stupid shirt out of the wet clothes in the washer and set it on top! He must have obsessed over that fucking shirt ALL DAY LONG and OH MY GOD why isn't it dry and hanging in his closet yet?!
So I threw it AND the other clothes from the washer (duh!) into the dryer and he's LUCKY I didn't throw the stupid thing in the GARBAGE!
Daily Prayer:
I'm OCD?
Right.
I'm perfectly normal.
Do you have any obsessive-compulsive tendencies?
Labels: Men are Pigs
link | annie posted at 11:37 AM | Haloscan
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Thursday, May 08, 2008
Conversations with the Husband, the Series
~ Scene: Early morning, and I am in the bathtub with my first cup of coffee.
Don't hate! This is how I start my day.~
*stomp-stomp-stomp*
*door opens, blowing chill breeze in my steamy bathroom. I HATE that!*
Husband: "Where's my red ******* motorcycle shirt?"
Me: *Blank stare*
(I don't function wellor speak in the morning until I've finished my coffee AND my bath.)
Husband: "Do you know where it is?"
Me: "If it's not hanging in your closet then it's in some stage of laundry - dryer, washer, or the clothes hamper."
Husband: *heavy sigh*
*stomp-stomp-stomp*
*metallic sound of dryer door slamming...metallic sound of washer being opened... miscellaneous rustling I can't identify from the other end of the house...*
*stomp-stomp-stomp*
Husband: "It's not there!"
Me: "Yes, it has to be!"
Husband: *closet door opening as he looks for the shirt again*
"It's not here ANYWHERE! I can't BELIEVE you lost my FAVORITE shirt!"
Me: "What? Oh my GOD! It is NOT lost!"
(now my bath is ruined so I'm getting out and wrapping a towel around me)
"Are any of your other clothes 'lost'?!
Just because I haven't quite kept up on the laundry this week, and I DID do THREE loads the last couple of days, because I don't know, I've been standing around with my HANDS in my pockets and painting the ENTIRE house!
Grrrrr! (I growled.)
Do you have pants?"
Husband: "Yes."
Me: "Do you have socks and underwear?"
Husband: "Yes."
Me: "Do you have over 50-something OTHER Harley-Davidson T-shirts hanging in your closet?"
(I counted and I stopped at FIFTY, he has over 50 Harley-Davidson and/or assorted motorcycle-related t-shirts and some nice button-up Harley-Davidson shirts hanging in his closet, I HANG them so he doesn't have to dig through a drawer, and I'm not even counting any old ones that have grease or paint on them.)
Husband: *Blink-blink*
I can see he's shocked that he's such a clothes horse, does he really have that many shirts?
"Yes."
Me: "Then go put one of them on and leave me alone to finish getting dressed and I'll find your damn 'favorite' shirt later!!! Dammit!"
Husband: *stomp-stomp-stomp*
...a few minutes later...
Husband: "I FOUND it! It was in the clothes hamper just like you said! Will you wash it for me please?"
Me: "Get OUT!"
So, he leaves and goes to work and I come stumbling out to the kitchen to get more coffee and THIS is what I find in the laundry room-
~ Please note my Mad Photog Skillz - I laid on the floor to get this shot, so you could FEEL the ENORMITY of the laundry pile!~
Me: "Lazy FUCKER!"
(He had to walk past that pile to get out the back door, it's not like he forgot.)
Daily Prayer:
Thank God he's gone back to work!
Does your spouse or S.O. do bullshit like this?
Any of this?
Don't hate! This is how I start my day.~
*stomp-stomp-stomp*
*door opens, blowing chill breeze in my steamy bathroom. I HATE that!*
Husband: "Where's my red ******* motorcycle shirt?"
Me: *Blank stare*
(I don't function well
Husband: "Do you know where it is?"
Me: "If it's not hanging in your closet then it's in some stage of laundry - dryer, washer, or the clothes hamper."
Husband: *heavy sigh*
*stomp-stomp-stomp*
*metallic sound of dryer door slamming...metallic sound of washer being opened... miscellaneous rustling I can't identify from the other end of the house...*
*stomp-stomp-stomp*
Husband: "It's not there!"
Me: "Yes, it has to be!"
Husband: *closet door opening as he looks for the shirt again*
"It's not here ANYWHERE! I can't BELIEVE you lost my FAVORITE shirt!"
Me: "What? Oh my GOD! It is NOT lost!"
(now my bath is ruined so I'm getting out and wrapping a towel around me)
"Are any of your other clothes 'lost'?!
Just because I haven't quite kept up on the laundry this week, and I DID do THREE loads the last couple of days, because I don't know, I've been standing around with my HANDS in my pockets and painting the ENTIRE house!
Grrrrr! (I growled.)
Do you have pants?"
Husband: "Yes."
Me: "Do you have socks and underwear?"
Husband: "Yes."
Me: "Do you have over 50-something OTHER Harley-Davidson T-shirts hanging in your closet?"
(I counted and I stopped at FIFTY, he has over 50 Harley-Davidson and/or assorted motorcycle-related t-shirts and some nice button-up Harley-Davidson shirts hanging in his closet, I HANG them so he doesn't have to dig through a drawer, and I'm not even counting any old ones that have grease or paint on them.)
Husband: *Blink-blink*
I can see he's shocked that he's such a clothes horse, does he really have that many shirts?
"Yes."
Me: "Then go put one of them on and leave me alone to finish getting dressed and I'll find your damn 'favorite' shirt later!!! Dammit!"
Husband: *stomp-stomp-stomp*
...a few minutes later...
Husband: "I FOUND it! It was in the clothes hamper just like you said! Will you wash it for me please?"
Me: "Get OUT!"
So, he leaves and goes to work and I come stumbling out to the kitchen to get more coffee and THIS is what I find in the laundry room-
~ Please note my Mad Photog Skillz - I laid on the floor to get this shot, so you could FEEL the ENORMITY of the laundry pile!~
Me: "Lazy FUCKER!"
(He had to walk past that pile to get out the back door, it's not like he forgot.)
Daily Prayer:
Thank God he's gone back to work!
Does your spouse or S.O. do bullshit like this?
Any of this?
Labels: Men are Pigs
link | annie posted at 4:07 PM | Haloscan
|
Monday, April 28, 2008
Gah! Where've I been?
I would have sworn I wrote that last post a couple days ago. Time flies.
Well, I've been treated to another straight week of myannoying sweet husband being off work. Jesus-God! He STILL has 180 hours vacation time left or some ridiculous amount, and I'm telling you, it's NO fucking vacation for me. Plus, we can't go anywhere anyway, for sundry stupid AND important reasons.
So, we're kind of trapped here for now, but he DID work during this vacation time at someone elses house, however, it was just down the street so he could come and annoy me every 45 minutes. He seems to think when he's doing a project and I'm here that I'm his personal servant:
"Will you make me a sandwich and bring it over?"
"Will you go out to the shed and find 'such-and-such' a tool?"
So I decided I should finish painting the living room and use that as an excuse to look busy, too. Not that it was half done or anything - I have a red wall and a brown wall and the rest was white, and I've been meaning to paint the remaining walls beige since last June when I did the other painting. Painting with red and toffee colored brown is exciting! Painting with beige is fucking BORING! Oh well, I've been getting it done. I finished off the living room and now I'm on the hallway that has 87 doors to paint around. Tedious.
Then, if he stays home much longer, I'm going to move on to the bedroom. Not with him. Painting the bedroom(s). Then, I'm probably going to repaint my bathroom. I'm also thinking of doing this raised plaster aspen tree design in the bedroom:
After that's done, I might paint the entire outside of the house, too! Even though it doesn't need it! Or, I could do this?
Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel on my ceilings.
They are vaulted, you know.
Yeah. That reminds me of a joke.
I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to blog about, but no time.
Daily Prayer:
See you soon!
Do you have any spring projects planned?
Well, I've been treated to another straight week of my
So, we're kind of trapped here for now, but he DID work during this vacation time at someone elses house, however, it was just down the street so he could come and annoy me every 45 minutes. He seems to think when he's doing a project and I'm here that I'm his personal servant:
"Will you make me a sandwich and bring it over?"
"Will you go out to the shed and find 'such-and-such' a tool?"
So I decided I should finish painting the living room and use that as an excuse to look busy, too. Not that it was half done or anything - I have a red wall and a brown wall and the rest was white, and I've been meaning to paint the remaining walls beige since last June when I did the other painting. Painting with red and toffee colored brown is exciting! Painting with beige is fucking BORING! Oh well, I've been getting it done. I finished off the living room and now I'm on the hallway that has 87 doors to paint around. Tedious.
Then, if he stays home much longer, I'm going to move on to the bedroom. Not with him. Painting the bedroom(s). Then, I'm probably going to repaint my bathroom. I'm also thinking of doing this raised plaster aspen tree design in the bedroom:
After that's done, I might paint the entire outside of the house, too! Even though it doesn't need it! Or, I could do this?
Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel on my ceilings.
They are vaulted, you know.
Yeah. That reminds me of a joke.
I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to blog about, but no time.
Daily Prayer:
See you soon!
Do you have any spring projects planned?
link | annie posted at 4:27 PM | Haloscan
|
Monday, April 21, 2008
Live From New York...
I love SNL's "3:00 am phone call" sketch!
(Direct link click here)
You have to watch it, it's hilarious. Obama has won the election and is freaking out and cursing and calls Hillary in the middle of the night asking for all kinds of advice.
Which got me to wondering - does Saturday Night Live really favor Hillary Clinton? And if I thought I was having an original thought, well again, just Google it: Someone stole my thoughts.
Damn thought stealers!
SNL claims it's not true. Jim Downey, who writes SNL's political sketches goes on to say, "I would imagine that most of the comedy world is for Obama." Hmmm...that's interesting.
SNL will mock with equal opportunity. Once we're down to one democratic nominee and one republican, they will mock them both, and once we pick a new president, it'll be open season on ridicule for him or her. That's what makes this country great!
I don't know, parody is often not far from the truth. I have difficulty trying to watch things such as the debates, because I think too abstractly - I don't always hear what is said because I "hear" between the lines. The little dialog in my head goes pretty much like an SNL sketch, so I might as well watch their recap of it anyway, right? It makes sense to me. AND it makes me laugh. In fact, watching an actual debate makes me laugh, inappropriately.
It's easier for me to just read up on the highlights of each candidates views on issues I consider the most important. And if SNL did endorse a particular candidate for president, I'd probably seriously consider their opinion.
Does this make me ignorant and uninformed?
What do you think?
(Direct link click here)
You have to watch it, it's hilarious. Obama has won the election and is freaking out and cursing and calls Hillary in the middle of the night asking for all kinds of advice.
Which got me to wondering - does Saturday Night Live really favor Hillary Clinton? And if I thought I was having an original thought, well again, just Google it: Someone stole my thoughts.
Damn thought stealers!
SNL claims it's not true. Jim Downey, who writes SNL's political sketches goes on to say, "I would imagine that most of the comedy world is for Obama." Hmmm...that's interesting.
SNL will mock with equal opportunity. Once we're down to one democratic nominee and one republican, they will mock them both, and once we pick a new president, it'll be open season on ridicule for him or her. That's what makes this country great!
I don't know, parody is often not far from the truth. I have difficulty trying to watch things such as the debates, because I think too abstractly - I don't always hear what is said because I "hear" between the lines. The little dialog in my head goes pretty much like an SNL sketch, so I might as well watch their recap of it anyway, right? It makes sense to me. AND it makes me laugh. In fact, watching an actual debate makes me laugh, inappropriately.
It's easier for me to just read up on the highlights of each candidates views on issues I consider the most important. And if SNL did endorse a particular candidate for president, I'd probably seriously consider their opinion.
Does this make me ignorant and uninformed?
What do you think?
link | annie posted at 4:57 PM | Haloscan
|
Friday, April 11, 2008
F-F-Friday
Saintseester is starting a new weekly tradition, "Fucking Floral Fridays".
Isn't that a fucking great idea? I said "Fuck yeah!"
And since I finally got a new camera, I'd thought I'd play.
I've now taken 457 photos in two days!
The baby is annoyed with me, he keeps holding up his little hand (talk to the hand!) and saying,
"No! You don't take my pitcher!"
So I take pictures of other crap.
Click to make them bigger:
There's toys!
And more toys!
And plants!
And snow globes!
And candles!
So, sorry, that's all I got for now. Beats another recap of American Idol, eh?
Uh...maybe one day I'll take a picture of something interesting.
I know! Maybe a photo of my half-naked ass in a bathroom mirror! What do you think, would I do that?
Would you?
Isn't that a fucking great idea? I said "Fuck yeah!"
And since I finally got a new camera, I'd thought I'd play.
I've now taken 457 photos in two days!
The baby is annoyed with me, he keeps holding up his little hand (talk to the hand!) and saying,
"No! You don't take my pitcher!"
So I take pictures of other crap.
Click to make them bigger:
There's toys!
And more toys!
And plants!
And snow globes!
And candles!
So, sorry, that's all I got for now. Beats another recap of American Idol, eh?
Uh...maybe one day I'll take a picture of something interesting.
I know! Maybe a photo of my half-naked ass in a bathroom mirror! What do you think, would I do that?
Would you?
link | annie posted at 5:07 PM | Haloscan
|
Monday, April 07, 2008
Don't Be an Ass
Updated - April 9, 2008-
The list of raffle prizes is growing and it's AWESOME! Click the Mickey button in this post for an update of the list of prizes and for your chance to donate and win!
Don't forget about the raffle for Lisa!
See the 2 posts below this for more info and click on the Mickey button to go to the raffle page.
In the midst of all this, another blogger has suffered a terrible tragedy, somewhat Lisa-related. You see Rachel was blogging and decided she needed a snack, when she happened upon Danalyn's Video of Love tribute to Lisa and she was so caught up in the emotion of the moment that she forgot she had put the oil on to fry some okra until in the midst of her tears, the fire alarm went off. In her haste to save her beautiful new home frome burning to the ground, she burnt the FUCK outta her HAND.
Don't click this next link if you are easily grossed out-
This is NO JOKE.
So here's where you come in, my dear friends.
This won't cost you any cash, so maybe people won't lose their heads, just their ass.
That hand is gonna need some skin grafts. Rachel is in enough pain as it is and doesn't need to be cut up anymore, so WE need to send her our own skin for the graft. You take skin for grafts off your butt, of course, so your scars will not (hopefully) be noticeable at all! I figure if 100 people donate a square inch of skin, there should be enough usable skin to fix her up.
Please, no hairy or tattooed skin. Unfortunately, that leaves me and my husband out.
This is going on her HAND people. It's bad enough she's scarred but she doesn't need a hairy palm or half of an old tattoo from your ex-husband "Dick". Smooth asses need only apply.
So send your butt-skin today!
Rachel needs a piece of your ass!
Spread the cheeks!
The list of raffle prizes is growing and it's AWESOME! Click the Mickey button in this post for an update of the list of prizes and for your chance to donate and win!
Don't forget about the raffle for Lisa!
See the 2 posts below this for more info and click on the Mickey button to go to the raffle page.
In the midst of all this, another blogger has suffered a terrible tragedy, somewhat Lisa-related. You see Rachel was blogging and decided she needed a snack, when she happened upon Danalyn's Video of Love tribute to Lisa and she was so caught up in the emotion of the moment that she forgot she had put the oil on to fry some okra until in the midst of her tears, the fire alarm went off. In her haste to save her beautiful new home frome burning to the ground, she burnt the FUCK outta her HAND.
Don't click this next link if you are easily grossed out-
This is NO JOKE.
So here's where you come in, my dear friends.
This won't cost you any cash, so maybe people won't lose their heads, just their ass.
That hand is gonna need some skin grafts. Rachel is in enough pain as it is and doesn't need to be cut up anymore, so WE need to send her our own skin for the graft. You take skin for grafts off your butt, of course, so your scars will not (hopefully) be noticeable at all! I figure if 100 people donate a square inch of skin, there should be enough usable skin to fix her up.
Please, no hairy or tattooed skin. Unfortunately, that leaves me and my husband out.
This is going on her HAND people. It's bad enough she's scarred but she doesn't need a hairy palm or half of an old tattoo from your ex-husband "Dick". Smooth asses need only apply.
So send your butt-skin today!
Rachel needs a piece of your ass!
Spread the cheeks!